What I’ve learned? It’s unnecessary to go to the most popular restaurant in Jersey when you have a scandal on your head & then be maaaaad that someone is going to take a picture of you! That’s your fault boo boo. Stay in da house! 10 years! Now that I got that out da way I can get to the point. I know I’ve been MIA as of late but I’ve been very busy. So much has changed since I posted my last blog. I’m really proud of myself. We all are works in progress. I’ve been working really hard on myself to become the man writing this blog. I’ve been through a lot of great and not so pleasant experiences.

I’ve learned a lot, gained a lot of valuable life experiences, and have been reminded about what’s truly important in life. One of the many reasons I’m working so hard on myself is because a special event is coming up soon and I want to be as prepared as possible. It’s coming up very soon and I couldn’t be more excited! A wise young man once told me that life is about going out and sharing your experiences. I’ve been doing just that. I’ve gotten to know and spend so much time with so many amazing real people. Despite the fact that we didn’t meet under the best circumstances, I got very close to them and made many lifelong friends. Where did we meet? Not a big secret anymore. We met at a psych hospital. That’s right. I have a mental illness and I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to share it with you. That wasn’t always the case but proud to say it is now.

I have been involuntarily admitted to two different psych hospitals since my last post in March. It makes me want to cry when I think about all the amazing friends I’ve made and people who I got very close to in a relatively short period of time. I met so many different types of people. There were young people like me, different sexual orientations, races, and faiths but we all came together and shared a memorable experience that I pray will help us stay on track and not let our various illnesses prevent us from living our lives. This brings me back to what I mentioned earlier. My time away reinforced what I knew which is that family, friends, and our fellow brothers and sisters are the most important things in life. How we treat one another is so critically important. Giving and receiving love openly is of the utmost importance.

One of the friends I made wrote me one of the most beautiful, poignant poems I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. I also have begun writing a song about an extremely inspiring and pretty cool young lady. Songwriting, singing, and acting are just some of the gifts that God has blessed me with. However, these gifts wouldn’t mean anything without the real and amazing people who we were all sent here to love and share our lives with. I’ve performed for some small crowds but one day I’ll be performing for enormous crowds and I’ll always remember the lesson I learned over these past five months. Our fellow human beings and making a difference in each other’s lives is what matters the most. There’s a sentence in my Racism and Sexism textbook(Got A in that class by the way. Preparation is key) that helps drive home the point I’m trying to convey and get across here. It’s one of my favorites and one I’ll always remember. It says, “Our loving relationships with humans feed the life of the spirit and enable us to overcome our basic isolation and to be interconnected in human kind.” What I’m saying is that we are all important no matter what our position in the world is. You don’t have to be an astronaut, astrophysicist, professional athlete, or great singer to make a huge difference is someone’s life.

As I said before family is very important. I will always remember that they were the ones there for me when things were very difficult. There was a time I wasn’t using these god given talents but my family was there for me and they supported me in every way. I’m so proud of my parents who I’ve gotten even closer to during the past few years. Making a difference in someone’s life is so important. They did just that every day in the lives of their students. One of my mom’s students went on to become a very well known professional football player. Victor Cruz ring a bell? I don’t exactly have Victor on speed dial but if I did I’m sure he would attest to the fact that my mom was an amazing teacher and probably is favorite! My point is you don’t have to be a model on the covers of magazines, salsa dancing in the end zone, or nominated for Oscars or Grammys to be important or do amazing work.

My family, true love, friends old and new, and my brothers and sisters in Christ are the most important thing to me. One of my favorite bible verses says, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Ladies and gentlemen, God is very real. I’m happy to tell you he exists and loves each and every one of you. Our loved ones are happy, alive and well in heaven. That’s what we should focus on and keep in mind. A wise young lady told me during my stint in one of the psych hospitals that we should focus on the positive. Do what makes you happy and what makes you feel good. I believe in the law of attraction. Feeling good now is the fastest way to attract we want into our lives. As for me, what do I want? Absolutely nothing. I have everything I need at this moment. There are short and long term goals that I’ve set like losing weight(try a lot of weight! Ha!), continue my education, develop my gifts and talents, and spend time with my man, family, and friends old and new like the ones I met during my psych hospital stints. I’m putting in work every day to achieve those goals and I know I will get there. I have another quote to help me get my point across. Two men were riding on horses. The young one sped up ahead of the older man. The young man shouted back, “Hurry up! Catch up! Let’s go!”. The wise old man said, “It’s good here too.” It’s good here too. Wise words. So what will happen tomorrow? Not certain exactly but what I am certain of is that I know I’m going to give my all, make a difference, love my fellow brothers and sisters, and give one hundred percent to every situation and challenge I’m met with. The experience I’ve been working hard to prepare for is quickly approaching and I’m so excited but I know one thing for sure. It’s good here too and it’s about the journey not the arrival. God Bless you all!


Josh L. R. H. Spadaro






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My last blog entry needless to say was some funny shit. Time to get serious now. Why? Because I’m dangerously ,which is synonymous with the word treacherous which I learned in fourth grade, in love with a FUCKIN AMAAAAZIN man. Like dad I always have to go for the joke(which Momz hates) before I delve into the depths of my soul & dig deep like Leona did for Bleeding Love! She really went there for that performance. I felt happy for her cuz people  REALLY LOVED THAT SONG. Unfortunately, Echo her second effort didn’t do well at all. I guess when making Echo she didn’t give  A FUCK. And much like those lyrics I don’t give a fuck what they say cuz I’m in love with my man. His name is Gregg but I won’t reveal his last name and that’s for a reason. Partly because I want to punish him because ya know what didn’t you try and convince me your name was Brett the first muthafuckin night! I know you were messin with me but I have to get you back so no last name, baby.

We met over a year ago in the home of my master! Planet Fitness! I walked in one day and thought to myself, “Oooh there’s a cute new gay employee!” I said hello we exchanged pleasantries and he asked for my number then said just kidding. Kidding? I thought to myself “You know you want it” but I let it slide and started to begin my workout when my best friend J who I call Song said go downstairs and talk to him! He’s cute and asked for your number! I immediately walked back to the front where he was and inquired about personal training in the hopes that he’d my trainer in the gym and in bed. He took my number & informed me that there were only group classes. I’m not really a social creature so my interest was  not piqued. Plus many of the classes were early in the morning and as a nocturnal creature me no likey. What did LOVE was the man I met that day.

Gregg is gorgeous although I could see why he later revealed he had and still suffers a bit from low self esteem because he’s not Cameron Neckers, my fellow Ford Model, good friend, and fuck buddy. Gregg is more gorgeous in the way Adele is meaning old looking but gorgeous simultaneously and not only more attractive than Cam he’s the most beautiful man on earth. Fast forward a few weeks. I invited him to my house. We ordered food, watched Gravity, ate candy which I subsequently learned sugar turns him on so there will be a stash of candy in my drawer of my things at his place(Shout out to Taylor Swift. Got a real Love Story here, gay boys, girls, and drag queens at Lucky Changs!)

He ended up staying the night. We woke up, had cold pasta for breakfast(weird, I know, right? No, especially when eaten out of the ass. You know I can’t resist a joke but we have yet to try that but I love the idea so baby it’s on very soon!) We used our favorite scrub Simple Sugars when we washed our faces in the morning and headed out to spend the day together. We went to two gorgeous parks near my place that are beautiful and picturesque and perfect for talking, bonding, and not to mention FUCKING! I kid I kid. We have yet to fuck outside yet which I’m interested in and read about in my book Biker Boy Stories. But I digress! In fact we’ve intentionally pledged not to fuck until we feel it’s the right time. Take that stereotypical gays. It’s gotta hurt being a WHORE. But unlike those two fags who were on Survivor recently who are waiting for marriage to have sex(admirable but aint happenin in this relationship, with any of my friends, or anyone I’ve ever known.( saw a couple episodes but aint nobody got time for that or TV butt glad Nat won. She’s a badass bitch just like I like em. Just ask Corinne Kaplan, New York Tiffany Pollard or Irina Shabeyeva! Cochran’s an invalid, Pumkin, Hoopz, Jeff White, and Pat Wallace they’re all SLUTS trying to sleep with my man, Carol Hannah is so mediocre and I just feel like if you’re going to be mediocre at least have a great personality! There’s a reason for everything and everyone you meet in life.

There’s a reason I mentioned those quotes because at this point in our relationship he’s gotten waaaaay too attached. We spent over a week on vacay together and then when we had to part and go back to work and he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me and cried and said he can’t live without me. Ladies and Gays, let me just talk to you for a second. If you’re dating a guy or seeing a guy and just out of the blue he says I can’t live without you? He’s pussy( for all the str8s who turn for gays only) and Lesbos, erotic massaging, HOT ASS,  and COCK addicted!!! Mine is anyway. In previous relationships cuming on too strong turned me off butt this time I’m positively blithe about it. How do I feel? I am so on the verge of ending it, girl! Ok Ok I’m in love too! I am crazy abo my hard working maaaan, Gregg the GORG. He’s brilliant. Boston College Grad like my fellow Elite Gay Andy Cohen. He ain’t no Princeton grad though, like my best friend Jason who’s been mentioned previously in my blogs and who you’ll be hearing more about in the future, though cuz if he was man I might have fucked him already. Butt I couldn’t care less about what college you attended, baby, because I know your IQ and intelligence isn’t measured by the school you go to. I attended Bergen Community College for a few years back in the day. I received almost enough credits for my Associate’s Degree. Just gotta go back take two more Sociology courses which are my favorite(fascinating stuff) to complete my Sociology requirement. Plus one or two more courses than I can transfer to wait for it wait for it! Could it be NYU? Nope! William Paterson University? Are you serious? Absolutely not it’s far too close my house and far too dangerous only the dumbest people and lions go there! Speaking of Lions going to Willy P can’t wait to Roar on stage there! Get ready for the KING LION/MONSTER/SWIFT BOAT VETERAN! Could it be Montclair State University? Absolutely not. Try Princeton all my gays, lesbos, and drag queens! I’ve worked really hard for the past few years on my education. Education is so important. We shouldn’t take for granted our brilliance, family, or even ability to read at all.

There are people who can’t read a book but they have feelings. So if you come across someone less fortunate know God’s intention is for you to be reminded about how fortunate you are and to make that person’s day by showing real kindness. Don’t give them BS kindess. Open up your heart and just let it begin(Shout out to Katy my love, I don’t think John is right for you!) He’s perfect for Kathryn Hudson. Which is the real name of one the biggest pop stars in the world who has a veneer of perfection like Underwood but is a real person with real problems. I have a couple points I promise! Isn’t it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours at risk of deactivating the chemicals in it. You however did cry when I left you baby and after I shot your father, isn’t that right?

After you realized you can’t live without the most gorgeous, brilliant, and gifted MAN of all time you came to the conclusion which the last step of the scientific method! Learned in 5th grade just like Beyoncé but her eduction ceased there, right Wendy? Wendy I think there at least one time where your drug dealer LOVED YOUR SEXY IMAGE! I digress a great deal. Sigh. Where was I? Oh yes, Katy is a real person! Don’t be fooled by or take celebrity seriously. The bitch almost killed herself much like G did when I left him. That’s what Roar was all about! Poker Face however is about why when I’m with my other half am I fantasizing about my best friend Jason’s BIG ASS and my other best friend Brad’s HUGE COCK. If you haven’t seen them, they’re gorgeous but nowhere near as gorgeous as Ford’s top male supermodel of the world which I am.

If you’ve been paying attention you know. Butt back to Jason’s HOT BIG ASS and Brad’s HOT BIG, THICK, AND LONG COCK WHICH IS THE PERFECT COMBO! UNLIKE JAY Z WHO IS BIG BUT NOT LONG ENOUGH AND NAS WHO IS LONG BUT NOT THICK OR BIG ENOUGH BRAD’S AND GREGG’S COCKS ARE PERFECTION! I wanted to make sure before I brought this up to you my readers, G and I didn’t reserve seats at 3 Chicas. My jokes are the BEST aren’t they? Butt I brought it up to show sex is important it deepens a connection but there are way more important things in life. Getting to know my man has been the joy of my 27 years. And there’s been no sex. See? Sex is important but connections, experience which should be shared(shout out to Pat my best friend who changed my life with his work!) No, seriously one time after a lot of tough push ups he said in his sexiest, kindest, and hottest voice “Hey, that was tough!” and we fist bumped! The importance of that is he showed kindness, realness, and was proud of me for finishing something tough. Another life lesson here is nothing can stop you. Things might seem like a big deal or hard at the time but God will make it better. I know God has big plans for the only world in the universe with human life on it and has big plans for the only human race. God loves each and every one of us and wants us at our own version of our farm.

I say farm because it’s my dream to live on a BIG farm with horses, a lot of dogs, a lot of acres of land to ride my horses and my man outside, My Man Gregg H.(Getting closer!), and last butt most importantly our at least six children. That’s my idea of heaven on earth. I love animals, nature, men, and always wanted to be a dad. Having all those things is my dream and I’m working toward getting to the farm. As soon as I get there you will be the first to know in the form of a blog. I will always blog about my life because it’s the equivalent of a journal that I used to keep when I was very young and when I got older. Lost them both! Just like Kristen did to Rachel on BB12! WHY DON’T YOU TRY AND FIND ANOTHER BLOG THAT’S FUNNIER, DEEPER, AND BETTER THAN THIS AND FLOAT ON OFF CUZ YOU’RE IN TREACHEROUS WATERS READERS!

Had be rough and aggressive with you. A lot of gays and all people love that. Another thing I have to do is wrap/rap it up. Wrap it up as in less than 40% of the time wear a condom when it’s time for my man and I to have sex which I’ll blog about and I know hard to believe butt that blog will top this one. Rap cuz I’m also a rapper wanna see THIS ONE IS FOR THE GINGERS IN THE GRANDPA HAT AND SWEATER ENTREPRENEURS IN THE MOGUL HE COULD BALL WITH THE CREW HE COULD SOLO AND I KNOW HE JERKS WHEN I GOT THE BLACK FITTED CAP ON HE AINT EVEN GOTTA TRY TO PUT THE MACK ON YA KNOW I REALLY GOT A THING FOR WHITE AND GINGER GUYS I CAN TELL YOU’RE IN TOUCH WITH FAT FEM SIDE UHHH ROSS MATHEWS YES I DID YES I DID SOMEBODY PLEASE THEM WHO THE FUCK I IS I AM JOSH LUKE ROMEINE SPADARO I MACK THEM DUDES UP! One more message before I say see ya later my TRUE LOVES! DREAMS ARE HOPELESS ASPIRATIONS IN HOPES OF CUMIN TRUE AND I’M TELLIN YOU TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF THE REST IS UP TO GOD, ME, AND YOU! I love you all whether you are a regular reader(Shout out to my best friends Katy and Miz Jones) both badass bitchez who read regularly and have from the start. They loved me and my blog from the start not because I’m a Top Ford Model butt because I’M SMAAAAAAAAAART! But whether you’ve read from the beginning like them or are reading for the first time I love you so mucho for taking the time to read one or more of my blogs which I consider journal entries. Our lives are important and should be documented and that’s one of the many reasons I blog. Unlike my girl Tasia my life was ALWAYS important to moi! Stupid girl! No she’s gorg, SMAAART, and one of the greatest voices of all time. I however am  THE BEST OF ALL TIME AT EVERYTING I DO? Doubt it or don’t believe me? FOOLS! Your fate along with the rest of the world is for this force of nature called moi and JOSHUA LUKE ROMEINE HERREN, YES THAT’S RIGHT(on ok terms now but not friends by any means so I don’t really care.) SPADARO! I LOVE ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS NOT JUST IN CHRIST BUT IN LIFE. TREAT EVERYONE YOU MEET LIKE A LONG LOST SISTER AND BROTHER. AS THAT COLD CALCULATING BITCH ANNE HATHAWAY WHO REALLY IS THE WARMEST, LOVING, KINDEST HUMAN BEING SAID WHEN YOU LOVE PEOPLE THAT WAY IT’S AMAZING HOW BEUTIFUL EVERY DAY CAN BE! ❤


P.S. The reason for the pics are my Greggie Poo looks like that butt better! He’s that sort shade of white, ginger, and a fellow gorgeous Ford Model! Wendy’s is our favorite fast food PLACE (quick story I got him a Wendy’s gift card to use in addition to my game to get a date. I said what’s your favorite fast food place and this retard said it’s not a place it’s a restaurant! I’m engaged to a dumbass, retard, and ugly CUNT who don’t(Shout to my boy Judd) know the difference ok he knew but couldn’t resist me or my game! AND THE VETO WAS USED! GREGG NAME ONE GUY WHO’S NOT CUMIN AFTER MOI? Hunter pic is there cuz he’s a boy with dirty hair who rides a motor bike and because like his classic song WANTED, Gregg and I make each other feel more than wanted we make each other feel important, needed, LOVED, AND COMPLETE CUZ HE’S MY OTHER HALF! HOPE YOU FOUND YOURS CUZ I’VE GOT MY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! OH OH OH(LOWEST NOTE ONLY I CAN HIT)





Gays on my mind…

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Everyone who walks the earth has their own unique journey. I would prefer if that journey didn’t include clothes that were tacky, uninspired, and BROWN. I digress. My journey has led to some incredible people and places lately. I will go into detail about a select few who have made the biggest difference. And by BIG I mean they have the biggest dicks. So here we go…

I met this guy, Jason, at St. Joes Hospital one day when I was perfectly fine but needed my medication upgraded. He actually had the audacity to say to me, “Tell me I’m the best baby” and “I got a big ASS perfect for fucking!”. Unprofessional? Oui! Turned me on? Slightly. The point is I’ve made him cum several times since then because I am the bad bitch and I always get people back twice as hard as they get me. The happy ending to this story is that he’s now one of my good friends. Aww how sweet, right? Well, hell no! He and I play each other which is what I look for in a friend and boyfriend.

This brings me to the importance of GAME. I’m going to write a book on game one day. Here are a few rules for your reading pleasure : 1. Give them what they want 2. Never begin by asking a yes or no question 3. Don’t be a bitch by quitting before you get what you want(I know all of these from experience). 4. Listen(Not like Beyoncé), pay attention, and pounce on weakness. 5. Make people fall in love with you.

Back to the gays who have made an impression lately. There’s this girl who works at my gym named Ali. She can be a total bitch sometimes but I like that in a woman. She also happens to be a lot of fun but the downside is she sucks at her job and seems like a total and complete whore. Let me hear you say whore, w-h-o-r-e?!?! I’m just trying to get closer to her because she works with this guy Gregg who I’m trying to bang the shit out of.

I know they read this blog so Gregg if you’re reading this, I don’t want to date you. I don’t want to make love. I don’t want to be your boyfriend. I just want to fuck you and go our separate ways. Let me get your take on this, sexy. If you read this and then give me some bullshit in the gym, not only will you not get me in bed which I know is what you want, I will move on to my next target. The reason I want this guy for a night is because he’s one of the biggest dorks I’ve ever met and I love turning dorks on and making them lose their minds. Next!

I feel the need to address something that happened a few years ago. Some of you probably became aware of me during the season of BB15 when I gave amazing commentary on the live feeds. Needless to say I was very critical of the winner, Andy Herren. I’d like to give my thoughts on him now. He’s a total bitch! I believe the reason he won is because the jury felt sorry for him because he makes very little money. I don’t like people who sit around or stay quiet during the big moments. He was always quiet when drama was happening. If I were to fuck him, which I never would, he would be screaming his tiny ass off.

Last one. My ex fuck buddy Ray thinks he the shit because he’s a massage therapist. He’s mediocre and sucks at a lot of things. I know from experience. He’s alright at massage therapy so that’s good news. Who do you think taught him a lot of what he knows? Moi! So the fact that he thinks he’s superior because he works as a massage therapist is laughable. Guess what, Ray? I sing, rap, act, dance, and am a comedian. Speaking of comedy, the time when you spit up like a baby while sucking my dick and then demonstrated idiocy by saying go back to being turned on? Goin in my next comedy routine! Genius! This one here is trying to pass himself off as a massage therapist. He should get ass fucked properly. Will I do that and be your fuck buddy? That remains to be seen. Specifically, when I come in for a massage. I’ll assess your game at that time and I will let you all know how that goes along with everything else happening in my life. And believe me, there’s a lot going on…

P.S. I smoked an e cig, had an amazing whopper jr, planted some seeds with the friends of my target, and drank with some friends tonight. I know, right?!? This blog turned into rant about my gays when I should have… wrote exactly what I wrote bitchez. You know you love this blog. I’ll keep delivering the juicy details because that’s what I’m here for. I’ll end with my tagline. Until next time y’all.




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First of all, the words big and Josh are synonyms. Whether you want to call it a large frame or big boned is up to you. Your boy just refers to his size as big. Was always a big kid. Pretty much ate whatever my heart desired when your boy was young. The first time your boy took his weight seriously was the summer 2005. Signed up for a gym and worked my ass off every day. When your boy returned for senior year he came back with a new perspective and brand new body. Fast forward to present day and I’ve had some trouble staying committed to having exercise a part of my daily routine. Proud to say I’ve finally made the change and I will never stop exercising again. Eating healthy and exercise are a apart of my daily routine.

It’s a struggle to resist unhealthy food on a daily basis. Every time you pass one of your favorite restaurants, you think of the delicious food that you ate which is the reason why you got to your current weight in the first place. Dreaming about ice cream, burgers, pasta and all those delicious carbs that will send the number on the scale way up comprises a certain amount of my time. However, will power and the desire to make my man happy prevails in the end. The most important thing to remember is temporary pleasure isn’t worth missing out on long term success. Summer is quickly approaching and you know what that means. Beach season has arrived. My family has been going to the Jersey Shore ever since my sister, brother, and I were very young. I remember being a teen on the beach and admiring the bodies of the guys who were older, thinner, and/or fitter than I was. Proud to say that I am now that guy that I admired despite the fact that my body is far from perfect. How did I become that guy? By gaining experience, knowledge, and loving who I am inside. It sounds corny but it’s the truth.

The more you love yourself, the less likely it is that you’ll need that cheeseburger or bag of chips. According to an article that I read on CNN.com, “Your body is no dummy. There’s a reason it yearns for a bowl of crunchy-top macaroni and cheese or a sliver of warm apple pie. “Foods that are laden with carbohydrates, sugar, or fat simply taste delicious,” says Heather Hausenblas, Ph.D., an associate professor of exercise psychology at the University of Florida, in Gainesville.

But surprise! Flavor is only part of the reason you crave these foods. Your brain chemistry actually changes when you bite into a bagel or a Twizzler.” The article went on to describe the dangers of emotional and overeating. I’ve found that I eat less since I started doing yoga and meditation every day. Highly recommend doing both yoga and meditation as often as possible. Both have helped with relaxing and being more comfortable in my own skin.

We’re all in the midst of our own journey. Not just a physical but spiritual journey. We’re all on this journey toward self-actualization which is just the journey we take to discover who we are. We should all work hard and help each other on our journey. I’ll end with a quote that I love and it might not be exact, “Be kind to the people who you meet every day, you have no idea what their struggles are or what they’re going through”. Until next time…

You better work,



Best Friend Forever

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This is the story of how George John Kantakis and I became buddies. Those who knew us might think the story is over but it’s not over. Why? How? Keep reading to find out. George and I met at Most Blessed Sacrement school in Franklin Lakes. His step-father was diagnosed with cancer and Josh told a lie about his father. Needless to say, they had a rough beginning but the way they came together ,after that rocky start, inspired the students and faculty alike. George and Josh fought occasionally but they were able to work things out. Seeing them put their differences aside and become friends was incredible for everyone especially Josh.

Graduation came and George wrote in Josh’s yearbook, “Would say I’m going to miss you but we’re going to keep in touch.” Unfortunately, they didn’t keep in touch while they were in high school. The next time they saw each other was when Josh knocked on George’s door to say hello. If you have an old friend who you miss, knock on their door or just reach out to them. You will not regret it. They talked briefly about school, old times, and future plans. It was out of character for Josh to knock on someone’s door but he was loving his decision. They began hanging out regularly. One night they went to get alcohol and Josh left his cell phone at the store. A man called him back and said he had it. George told Josh and Alex, Marie, and Cara that Josh was acting hard. They all had a good laugh. George and Josh went back to get the cell phone and it was all good. Josh is ,still to this day, forgetful more than he would like to be. The five of them reminisced about old times. Josh lost touch with Cara, Marie, and Alex but remained in touch with George. Hanging with George was amazing. Please knock on an old friend’s door tomorrow. You won’t regret it.

Josh and Erin(Josh’s cousin) began hanging with George. They would drink and smoke weed together. One night they were smoking together while playing Wii. Everyone got a laugh out of watching Josh try weed for the first time. Josh’s initial reaction to the weed : Is it working yet? Hanging with George and his friends made me feel like one of the guys. Always had more of a connection women probably because of my sexual orientation but always secretly wanted to bond with the straight guys. Josh’s friendship with PJ game him that. PJ was Josh’s other best friend. Bonding with George and his friends made me feel that way. George and Erin began a sexual relationship. George and Erin couldn’t come to an agreement on where the relationship should go next so Erin ended it. Which subsequently is the reason Josh stopped hearing from George.

George and one of his good friends were at a party one night and had too much to drink. His friend lost control of the car and George John Kantakis passed away on March 29th, 2012. Josh sadly missed the funeral but he will be with George for the rest of his life because George is his angel. Angels are real and they are sent to us in order to help us along our journey. George is with Josh and that is why the blog is called Best Friend Forever. George wants to say shout out to the class of 02! Hit up Josh! He’s actually cool now. Seriously he always was cool and we all knew it. Just know heaven is real. God is real and he loves all of his sons and daughters. Be the best you can be and do good work. That’s the way to earn your pass into heaven.

My faith has always been strong but it became even stronger when God spoke to me for the first time and when George and others entered my life. Speaking of George, I just stopped by his mother’s house to see how she was doing. She knew he was in heaven. Also would like to tell everyone now that channeling spirits is something that I can do. The purpose of this blog is to tell you that heaven and God are real. Treat others with compassion, kindness, and respect.

If my therapist reads this, there are no bad people in the world. Bad things happen as a result of two things : evil spirits and mental illness. While we’re on the topic of mental illness, I would like to tell everyone now that I have Paranoid Schizophrenia. I’m not ashamed and I’m a real person just like everyone else and doin the best that I can. Please be the best that you can be, make time to love and thank the Lord for your blessings, and love and respect one another. Love you all including older readers, new readers, old friends like Amanda, Ashley, Jada, Shamyra, PJ, Marie Ann, Sherra, Sebastian, new friends Morgan, Jen, Cameron, Alison, Bryan, family, and anyone who was touched by this and all children of Christ. Say a prayer tonight because you know I will be. Peace and love Xoxo


Long Distance Love



Have you ever been in love and had to be away from that person for a long period of time? If the answer is yes, then this blog is for you. It’s something that I’m currently struggling with. A lot of people could relate to this topic. When you find the one you love, it’s a feeling like no other. You feel a sense of wholeness. You feel complete. It’s as if you have found your other half. The reason that I’m able to write this blog is because I’ve fallen in love recently. I’ll refer to him as TQ out of respect for his privacy. You always hear people say, ” I knew right away”, You’ll know when you find the one.” but you never actually think that’s how it’s going to happen. Well, it did happen that way. Knew immediately that he was the one.

We had a conversation at this place where I spend a lot of time and our relationship has evolved every day since then. However TQ has been away for awhile. Yes, it’s not forever but the time without him has been difficult. He has been a source of support and love for the two months that we’ve known each other. He tells me often that he feels the same way about me. There are so many things that I love about TQ but just to name a few : 1. He’s brilliant 2. He’s gorgeous 3. He’s both book smart and street smart 4. He’s hilarious 5. He’s kind, caring, and compassionate. He’s basically the perfect guy. Ok, ok bragging isn’t good but this situation calls for it. All jokes aside, he makes me want to be a better man. He loves me now but he makes me want to work hard to be the father and husband that he deserves someday. Probably the hardest thing about being a part is the loss of the strong heart connection. However, as soon as I hear his voice, it comes right back. TQ and I have created so many memories and had so many good times. This is my second relationship. I’ve really only had fuck buddies up until a few years ago. Everything happens when it is supposed to and everything happens for a reason. Those are two things that your boy believes wholeheartedly. The fact this relationship is happening means it’s the right time and I’m ready for it.

Guess how many relationships he’s had? Over 5. Yup, I’m screwed. By screwed I do mean he’s going to literally screw me. Know what you’re thinking, “It’s been two months and no sex?” We’re taking it nice and slow which is something that your boy needs to learn. Going slow is very important. Working out, having sex, eating, and taking your time getting to know someone should all be done slowly. Your boy is learning that over time. We’re going to take it nice and slow because this relationship is important to us. There’s a special song that your boy sings to him. The last line explains how I feel : I’VE GOT MY MAN. I’ve got mine and hope anyone who’s reading this has their man or woman. Love all people no matter what race, faith, or sexual orientation they are. If you’re struggling to come out or if you’re not feeling proud of who you are, come out of the closet. It’s better out here and I say that from experience. As Jennifer Love Hewitt said “There’s nothing wrong with anyone being any shape. That’s just who they are and that’s gorgeous.” We all are gorgeous. That’s what makes us beautiful. The differences are what make us unique, beautiful and special. As for my lover and me? There’s a lot more in store. Not really sure when we’ll be reunited but we definitely will at some point and I’ll be sure to let all of you know when it happens. Love all of my readers.

Stay tuned to see what happens next in the love story of Josh and TQ. Btw the mystery of the stolen dildo has been solved. It was found in a box inside my closet. Now, the question is how did it get there. As Shaggy would say, it wasn’t me. This mystery doesn’t need a whole blog but will definitely let you know who done it after some investigating. Hope you all had a great Easter. Feel free to leave a comment below and God bless you all!


P.S. He has really hot tight quarters (inside joke) and would like to apologize for my Chris Brown blog. It was written with judgment and I have nothing but love for him now and proud to say I’m a huge fan. He really is a huge talent. Your boy is rooting for him! Until next time yall. Love ya! Xoxoxoxo

I went through a similar experience. This blog really resonated with me.

I really enjoyed this blog.

Sips of Jen and Tonic

bc425f09027fd13912ac10b6728e4ea3I don’t typically write serious subject matter on this blog, but a few months ago I wrote about my desire to seek therapy for a myriad of issues I’ve faced for years. A woman of my word, I began going almost immediately.

I don’t like talking to friends or family members about my problems so the idea of talking to a stranger about my innermost thoughts really put me off. Luckily, I found someone totally aces on the first try, and she has taught me some very valuable things in our time together so far.

How you feel about yourself is not a democracy.

I would never have described myself as a “people pleaser” until I started seeing her. Now I can’t believe I never saw it before. In every facet of my life I am living for someone else: at work, in relationships, with my family, among friends. No…

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I enjoyed reading this blog so much that I had to share it. It really resonated with me.

Cats and Chocolate


Identity is fascinating. If we didn’t find it fascinating, there would be no interviews, no memoir, no ‘I’, as such. To identify each other, we talk about interests, beliefs, our dreams, our likes and dislikes, our passions. We talk about where we think we belong, what our past has been, what our present is, and where we think we’re going. Or we are ‘rebels’ in some sense of the word – setting ourselves apart from the culture we grew up in, or apart from the culture that people attribute to us.

It fascinates me because I’ve noticed that my identity has shifted, along with how I define myself at any one time. I used to define myself by what I consumed: my favourite TV series, my taste in music, what I wore.

Nowadays identity is something I consider deeper, rooted in a sense of my experiences and how I’ve responded…

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I don’t know why I never tweeted this. I couldn’t agree more with this tweet. Everyone who knows me knows math is so not my subject. It was always my least favorite subject in school. I always excelled more in English. I get that from my mom who was a high school English teacher for over thirty years.

This one of my favorites for a number of reasons. First of all, it makes me laugh. Secondly, it’s the perfect response to a hater. I definitely plan on saying this to my next hater. Ha! If you don’t already know, Jun is a wife, mother, blogger, and winner of the CBS’ reality show Big Brother. Check out her site called JunDishes.com. It’s one of my favorites.

I’ve noticed during my time on Twitter that there is a subset of fans who pathetically and constantly beg for retweets, follows, and tweets from their favorite celebrities. Now, I’m not above occasionally asking for a follow but begging for follows or tweets is ridiculous. Get it together, people!

I’ve never followed or interacted with this guy but he wrote one of my favorite tweets. Always have been and always will be proud to be a Democrat.

I love this tweet. Thanks , Kathy, for the very enthusiastic vote of confidence but I don’t see politics in my future.

I found this quote online somewhere and I instantly loved it. I’ve definitely found this to be true in my own life.

We’re the nation of super sizing. If one of my friends bought me something mini, I would probably have the same reaction.

100% agree with this tweet. Adele’s acceptance speeches are one of highlights of awards shows for me. Love Adele!

Sips of Jen and Tonic

Writing that's straight up with a twist

this is... The Neighborhood

the Story within the Story

Cats and Chocolate

A place for cats, creativity, and a dash of philosophy

Thin spiral notebook

My journal of big words and pretty pictures

Steve McSteveface

"just a guy from Scotland, talking about some stuff - hoping that people will listen"

The Gramophone Reporter

GRAMMYs, Eurovision, Polls and any other music-related randomness

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

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The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.